Stay the Night With Me
by Kellyyy
Summary: After seven long months Peyton finally gets a visit of that one person she's been wishing to see again. Set after season4. LP.


**Summary: **After seven long months Peyton finally gets a visit of that one person she's been wishing to see again. Set after season4. LP.

**AN: **Hello! I started this one-shot about a year and a half ago, then I got blocked and forgot about it, but this week I suddenly found the inspiration to finish it. I hope you like it. Thank you for reading!

Title and lyrics come from _Wolf Gang_'s _Midnight Dancers_.

* * *

**Stay the Night With Me**

_I keep trying to move on, there's something in the way.__  
__You've had me for so long, and it's the way it always stays._

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the sunshine. Those bright rays of sunshine lighting up the room through her curtains. Since Peyton had been able to sleep in, having her first day off in quite some time, it was already pretty late and the sun was shining brilliantly.

It'd be a sunny day, one of many in LA, but that joyful feeling of seeing and feeling the sunshine didn't yet rub off on her.

For her, it'd be yet another plain simple day. Yet another ordinary day. The two hundred and thirteenth one ever since they broke up. Just to be precise.

Not that she was counting.

Or maybe she was.

The doorbell rang and though she desperately wanted to stay in bed, she got up anyway. It could've been something important.

And it was.

Kind of.

"Lucas." She spoke his name softly as she stood in her doorway, facing her ex-boyfriend.

It had been months since she had said his name and it felt weird to say it out loud now. Her friends hadn't mentioned him in months, knowing she wouldn't want to hear it and she herself hadn't ask about him either. It wasn't that she didn't want to hear about him per se, she just didn't know if she could _handle _hearing about him.

"Hey." He answered, as if it were all that simple. As if it hadn't been seven months, as if it was just the morning after and he had only run out to get them some breakfast.

"How..? What, what are you doing here?" Peyton asked, blinking a couple of times to make sure he really was standing there.

"This is going to sound silly, but… I was in the neighbourhood."

"Yeah, you're right. It does sound silly."

He smiled and thought he saw a hint of a smile on her face too. "Can I… Can I come in?"

"Oh. Sure, come on in." She made room for him to move into her apartment, still not knowing why he was there or what he wanted from her. "Do you want something? To drink, I mean. To drink." She said, rolling her eyes at herself because he'd been inside for two seconds and this was already awkward.

"No, I'm good, thanks."

Silence fell and as much as they both still wanted to pretend as if it wasn't awkward at all, it was.

"Look, I don't want to be rude or anything, but what are you doing here, Lucas?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. To be honest, he didn't really know what he was doing there either.

"I'm in LA for a couple of days. I, I don't know… I guess I just needed to come."

She simply nodded, it was all she did. There were things she could say, things she really wanted to say actually. But she didn't have the energy. She didn't want to nor did she know how to handle him being there. She simply didn't have the energy.

"You know, I actually just woke up, would you mind if I take a quick shower? You can stay, of course, I just…"

"Sure. Go ahead. I'll wait."

She nodded again and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving her ex-boyfriend in her living room.

When she appeared again, Lucas was standing at her dresser, holding a photo frame.

"I'm pretty sure that one was lying in one of the drawers." She said, making him turn around to face her. She knew which frame he was holding, of course. It was a photo of the two of them, taken on their last day of high school.

Back when things were still good.

"I know, I'm sorry. The drawer was half open, it caught my attention."

"It's okay. Just, put it back, okay?" She asked sharply, telling him without all that many words that there was a reason the photo was lying in the drawer, not standing on top of it.

"Peyton, -"

"It's okay, Lucas." She repeated, cutting him off.

He nodded slightly and put the frame back where he had gotten it. "It doesn't really seem as if it's okay, though."

Peyton let out a sigh and shook her head a little. How could he just waltz into her apartment and say and do things like that and expect her to be all okay with it? _Of course_ she wasn't. Of course it wasn't all okay for her that he just walked in as if nothing had ever happened.

"What do you think, Lucas? Of course it isn't okay!" She cried out, surprising him just a bit. "You show up after seven months of silence and you stand here, looking at pictures of us and then you expect me to be _okay_? What are you even _doing _here?"

"I told you, I-"

"Oh, please. Cut the crap, Lucas." She said, a hint of anger in her voice. "You needed to come? What for? To say goodbye? You know, that thing you failed to do seven months ago."

She locked eyes with him for just a split second before she walked away into her small kitchen. She needed to calm down. She couldn't do this if she was angry and yelling and she simply needed to calm down. It's not so easy though to be calm when your ex-boyfriend who just left you without saying anything is now standing in your living room. It's not so easy at all.

"Maybe I should go, this doesn't seem like the greatest idea…" Lucas said then, standing awkwardly in the doorway of her kitchen.

"Sure, why don't you? Just leave, you know how to do that." Peyton replied, not even looking up at him.

She sounded hurt and bitter and he hated hearing her like that. He knew it was his fault, but to be fair, he was hurt too. And that was her fault. She was the one that didn't want to marry him, she was the one who didn't see a future for them. He was the one who proposed and she was the one saying no, that wasn't exactly the way he had hoped things would go when he had flown to LA seven months ago.

"Okay, I can get that you're angry, but don't you think it's a bit unfair of you to just throw out these snarky comments and –"

Peyton's eyebrows shot sky high and she was quick to cut him off, "Unfair? You decided that day to just get up and leave without a word, without a goodbye and what for? Just because I didn't want to get married immediately? Because I thought that being nineteen was supposed to be a time to explore things and try to make our dreams come true? You left me in that hotel room and now, after seven months, you stand here and you don't even have the decency to tell me what you are even doing here!"

She paused to take a deep breath, even though she knew that wouldn't help at all. She wasn't calm anymore, far from even now. She was angry and hurt and she also really, really felt like punching him.

"No, Lucas, I don't think it's unfair." She continued, "It's been seven months, and I'd love to move on from all of this but you've made that pretty difficult for me, you know. I got no closure at all. You decided that it was over and I called you, more than once, and you didn't pick up your damn phone and I am just left _wondering_. Wondering _why _and _how_ and I don't want that! And now you're _here_! You're keeping me from moving on and _that _is what is unfair, Lucas. Not me making comments on what you did to me!"

He stupidly nodded and sat down on a chair nearby. He knew she was right, of course she was, but hearing it all like that was way more difficult than he thought it'd be. And yes, maybe it was unfair of him to just show up there out of the blue, but he hadn't been able to help himself. Knowing that he was in the same city as she was, he couldn't help but coming to see her. He just needed to know that she was alright, he just needed to see her once more.

Lucas stayed silent for just a while longer, figuring out what to say without making it even more difficult and complicated. But Peyton couldn't take the silence and tension any longer. She was sick of it, sick of all of it.

"Maybe you really should go, Lucas." She said quietly with her back to him.

He nodded, even though she couldn't see him, and turned back to the door. He was almost out of her apartment when he turned back around. "Maybe I should stay for a while." He said tentatively, watching her finally looking back at him.

"What?"

"Maybe if we talk we can, I don't know, work this out?" Lucas tried.

She looked at him and the pain that was oh-so visible in her eyes just about broke his heart. When she raised her eyebrow though, as if to let him know that she didn't think that would work at all, he saw a glimpse of the feisty Peyton he'd gotten to know years ago. "Fine. Talk."

He started talking, just like she had asked, about that fateful night seven months ago and how it had broken his heart when she had said no and why he had left just like that, without saying a word. But as he was talking and she was listening, she realized she couldn't take it. He was standing there, telling her exactly how he decided that it was over and it broke her heart even more than it already was.

After a while, she held one of her hands up in the air, making him stop talking. "I _never_ said no." She brought out, he voice breaking, and left him standing there, walking into her bedroom and closing the door behind her.

She sat down in front of her door, resting her head in her hands and trying oh-so hard to regain control over her emotions. It didn't help much though. There was this aching pain in her heart, had been for seven months, and she knew all too well that it wouldn't disappear any time soon.

Especially not when Lucas was in the other room.

She sat there for minutes, half an hour, maybe even an hour, and she was sure Lucas had left. She hadn't heard a door, nor had he said something, but she just knew that he wouldn't stay.

And she couldn't even blame him for leaving. She wouldn't want to sit there either, waiting like a fool for someone to stop locking themselves in a bedroom.

It surprised her quite a bit when it turned out he _hadn't_ left.

"Peyton, are you sitting in front of the door? 'Cause if you are, then I suggest you either unlock your door or move away because I'm this close to kicking in your door." Lucas spoke up.

She moved to the left a little and unlocked her door, knowing that he was actually serious and he _would_ kick in her door if she didn't. He opened the door carefully, as if he was afraid for what he might find there, and took a seat next to her on the ground.

"You're still here." Peyton stated the obvious.

"You think I'd leave just like that?" He replied without thinking, but quickly shut his eyes and winced just a little. "Sorry."

"It's okay." She shrugged.

Another couple of minutes passed as they both sat there, shoulder to shoulder. Finally, Lucas let out a quiet sigh, though still loud enough to make Peyton look up at him.

"It felt like a no. Looking back, I know you didn't say it, but it felt like it." He said then, running a hand over his face. "I was ready to marry you, Peyton. And I really thought you were too."

"But we are only nineteen, Luke. I'm not ready to commit to marriage just yet. I really wished you would've understood that." She answered quietly, looking back down at her hands.

"I know. But don't you get where I'm coming from? Yeah, we're young, but you know, I thought love would be enough."

Peyton let out a humorless laugh and shook her head just a little, "You make it sound as if you think I've never loved you."

"That's _not _what I said."

"It's what was implied, wasn't it?" She snapped, though, if she was honest, she knew it wasn't.

"Of course it wasn't. You honestly cannot believe I would think that." Lucas said incredulously.

Peyton looked him straight in the eye, though she had no idea where her boldness was coming from, "You want to know what I believed? I believed that you would love me forever. And that we would stay together forever. Well, belief hasn't brought me very far, has it?"

Silence fell again, but not for long, "I still love you, you know." Lucas said then, quietly but determined as well.

"What?"

"You said that you believed that I would love you forever. I still love you." He repeated as Peyton's eyes shot close.

She shook her head a couple of time before answering, "You can't say that, Lucas. You left and we broke up and I'm trying, I'm really trying to move on, but I can't. I've been trying for seven months and I can't and I'll never be able to either if you say things like this."

"Maybe you shouldn't move on then." He offered.

"That's not fair and you know it! You _left_ and –" Peyton started but was interrupted before she could say more.

"Can you please forget that for a little while and look at everything else? Yeah, I left but there's more to this story."

"No, there isn't! People always leave and you were supposed to be that _one _person who proves me wrong. But you weren't. And then you come back after months telling me you _love_ me? What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. I suppose that if you still love me as well, saying it would probably work."

She couldn't help but scoff, even though it didn't seem very appropriate. But still, he made it sound as if he honestly doubted that she loved him. As if all of it didn't simply _scream _that she still loved him. "You know I do. I will _always_ love you. That's what sucks about all of this."

"If you still love me and I love you, what's the problem then?" He asked with just the tiniest shimmer of hope sounding through his voice.

It didn't last long though.

"Didn't all that happened prove that there _is _a problem? I told you I loved you in that hotel room, but you still left anyway. Maybe love really isn't enough." Peyton said softly, a little too softly maybe, but he had still understood her perfectly.

Lucas nodded slowly, figuring out what to say next. He hadn't come with many expectations. He hadn't really know what to expect when he would get to her place and he hadn't really thought of it either. He just wanted to see her. But as he had been spending time with her and as he had seen how she reacted and how she felt, he hadn't been able to stop himself from hoping. Hoping for another chance.

Because as much as she liked to blame him for her not being able to move on, _he _hadn't really been able to move on either.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked eventually, because really, what else could he do?

She thought for a while and eventually shook her head, "No. I don't want to be alone now. You walk in here and then you'd just leave again, that's not fair. You can't leave again."

"So you want me to stay? Fine, I'll stay." He nodded. "What are we going to do now? You wanna talk some more?"

Peyton laughed, even though she actually felt a lot more like crying. "Please, let's not talk for a while. Can't we just.. Be normal and watch a movie or something?"

He had to laugh too then, the absurdity of the whole situation just baffling him. "Be normal and watch a movie? Who in the world would want to watch a movie with their ex after having a whole conversation about their break-up? That's so not normal, Peyt." He said and couldn't help but letting out some chuckles.

"I know. There's probably no one who does that." She nodded with a slight smile. "But you know… Can we still do it?" She asked and though she was trying to be strong, she couldn't hide the pain in her eyes from Lucas. He had always been able to look right through her and even now, he still could.

Lucas nodded, knowing that if they would talk just a little while longer, she'd break. He didn't want to leave her now and he didn't want to push her either, a movie actually did seem like the best plan.

"Okay. Let's watch a movie."

.

.

.

Peyton woke up to the sound of someone rummaging around in her kitchen. She sat up, disoriented, and took in her surroundings. She was in her couch, a blanket thrown over her and an empty DVD case lying on her coffee table. It took her a minute to figure out why she was sitting there, but then it all came rushing back at once.

_Lucas._

She got up and made her way towards the kitchen, towards the noises. "You're still here." Peyton noted, leaning against the door frame.

Lucas turned around, "Of course." He made it sound so normal, so self-evident, but all Peyton could do was wonder why he had stayed now, but hadn't been able to back then. "You fell asleep, I thought I'd fix up something to eat."

"Oh, okay." She nodded.

"I could leave too, if you want." He offered then, the awkwardness more than palpable.

Peyton shook her head, "You can stay. It's okay."

He smiled crookedly and went on making what seemed like eggs and well, she had no idea what else. She was sure he'd have to be pretty creative; there was hardly anything in her fridge. It had been a while since she had done some proper grocery shopping and even though she _could _fix up some dinner herself, she still wasn't much of a cook anyway.

"How long did I sleep?" She asked then softly, not really sure if she actually wanted to break the silence.

He looked up at her, "Quite some time. It's almost ten now."

"PM?"

"Yeah, silly. I wasn't even here at ten AM."

"Right." Peyton nodded. She took a seat at of her kitchen chairs, not knowing what to do or say.

After a while, Lucas turned towards her, two plates in his hand. She forced a smile as he set a plate in front of her and took a seat at the table as well. She tried to think of something to say and she thought he was doing the same thing, but eventually they both settled for staying quiet.

.

.

.

"I should go now, it's getting pretty late." Lucas said, standing in the doorway of Peyton's kitchen.

Peyton put the last of the dishes away before she looked at him over shoulder. "Um yeah, maybe you should." She said and turned around, her eyes drifting to her hands. She didn't want him to go though. She hated to admit it, but somehow it felt nice having him there and the thought of being left alone again scared her more than she could tell.

"Peyton?" He asked after a while. She was simply standing there, her look on her hands, on her left hand that could've been wearing his ring had things gone differently seven months ago.

"Yeah?" Her eyes moved up to his face and when she saw his face she realized she just couldn't let go of him yet. She wanted to, but she just couldn't. Not yet.

He let out a sigh, as if it pained him to see her so quiet and somehow small, so different from the Peyton she was in junior year. "Are you okay?"

Peyton nodded, but it was only a small attempt at reassuring him and he had no problem seeing right through it.

"Do you have to be somewhere tonight or tomorrow morning?" She asked then.

Lucas shook his head, "No. Not until noon. Why?"

"Will you… Will you stay here? I guess I still don't really want to be alone right now." It felt too vulnerable a question to ask, but then again, she figured, it wasn't the first time she'd been vulnerable with him.

He looked confused for a moment, then his look became soft and concerned."Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She nodded. She studied his face for a moment and saw it change from worried to relieved, as if he had wished for her to ask him to stay, as if that was what he needed now as well.

"Okay." He nodded back. "Another movie?"

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.

.

Peyton woke up in the morning with her head resting on his shoulder and it nearly broke her heart. Sometime during the night he had thrown his arm around her and she carefully untangled herself from him, getting up from the couch. He didn't flinch for a second. She walked through her apartment, towards the bathroom.

It all felt surreal. It had been almost twenty-four hours since Lucas had shown up at her front door and she still had trouble believing that he really was there. She closed the bathroom door behind her and moved in front of the mirror, letting her hands rest on the cool stone of the sink.

If she told him to get back together, they would. She knew that much. What she didn't know, though, was if she wanted that.

She loved him. She didn't doubt that she always would. But whether she could be with him again was a completely different matter. She felt like she'd lost herself and though a part her thought that it'd be perfect if he was the one to find her again, another part, a bigger one, figured there was only one person who could do that. She'd have to do it on our own.

She splashed her face and brushed her teeth quickly and then walked back out, back to the living room where Lucas was still sleeping. She started making coffee and by the time she was ready, Lucas had appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, mirroring the way Peyton had stood the night before when the roles had been reversed and he was the one standing in the kitchen.

"Morning." He greeted her, still sounding a little sleepy. She sent him a smile and offered him a mug of coffee, which he accepted gratefully.

They drank their coffee at the kitchen table in silence. After a while, Lucas reached out for Peyton's hand and letting go of her own mug, she let him take it.

"I love you, I always will. I don't want you to think I don't. Or that I ever stopped." He told her softly, looking right into her eyes.

Peyton nodded and bit her lip, trying to keep herself from tearing up. "I love you too." She said and those words took her back to a whole other time, when she had been trying not to cry as well. When people had congratulated her on the great acting in Nathan and Haley's honour, while all she'd been doing was telling the truth. She swallowed down her nerves, knowing all too well that what she'd say would break both their hearts, "But I don't think we should keep on trying, Lucas."

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused, and searched her face for an explanation.

"We want different things right now and I don't think it's going to work out. We shouldn't hurt each other any more than we already have." She got up from her place at the table and walked into the living room again, Lucas closely following her.

"So this is goodbye then? Even though I love you and you love me?" Lucas' fingers closed around her wrist, making her face him. She looked up at him, a tear making its way down her cheek. He couldn't help himself and wiped it away.

"Don't make this any harder." She almost pleaded, but honestly, he had no idea how this could even get any harder. "I love you so much, but I want to move on. When you left," She noticed him setting his jaw and she wished she didn't have to bring it up all the time. She couldn't help it though; him leaving her in that hotel room had broken her and she couldn't lie to him and tell him it was okay. "I was heartbroken. I still am. My whole life has been centered around you for the last few months and we weren't even together. It's become painfully clear in the last twenty-four hours that I've completely lost myself. I'm a wreck, Lucas. I don't know who I am anymore and I want to get to know myself again. I haven't been the Peyton you fell in love with in a really long time and I want myself back."

He shook his head a few times, because this just couldn't be happening. He hadn't wanted to, but over the course of twenty-fours, he'd started hoping for another chance. "So you find the real Peyton again. That doesn't mean we can't be together."

"I don't think that's going to work. I want to move on. I think I really need this."

"I don't know if that makes sense, Peyt."

She smiled weakly, her eyes full with unshed tears. "It does to me. Go live your dreams." Her voice broke as she finished her sentence and Lucas wrapped her up in his arms, not being able not to do so.

"I want to live my dreams with you." He murmured into her hair, dangerously close to tears himself.

She broke out of his embrace and took a step back, hastily wiping away some tears with her left hand. He couldn't help but think that there was a ring supposed to be on that hand. "I don't think that's possible right now." Peyton said softly and sat down on the couch. If she was honest, she'd rather want him to leave. She didn't want to drag out this conversation. She'd made her decision, as much as it hurt her, and now she simply wanted it to be all over.

Lucas took a seat next to her, "But it will be, someday?" He asked, pleading with his eyes to tell him that yes, it would be someday.

"I don't know. We should let each other go, Luke. I think that's best for both of us."

He closed his eyes for a moment, for the first time in months realizing that this was really it. He couldn't rewind time; he couldn't make it all stop. He'd lost her.

"I better go." Lucas broke the silence after several minutes. Peyton nodded and followed him to the front door, her legs feeling heavier than ever. She watched him pick up the sports bag he'd had with him the day before, but when he turned and looked at her, she diverted her gaze. He stepped closer to her and reached out for her, making her look up at him. His right hand rested on her cheek and she wanted to cry at both the familiarity and the proximity. He wiped away some tears with the pad of his thumb, hating that it wasn't the first time he had ever wiped her tears away. It broke his heart to see her cry.

"I love you." He said one last time and leaned in to kiss her. It was short; just a press of his lips to hers, but it felt like a promise. A promise that he would always love her.

Peyton just nodded, wordlessly telling him that she loved him too, and then watched him disappear through the hallway of her building.

She closed the door when she couldn't see him anymore and let her head rest against the cool surface.

It was over.

She couldn't decide on feeling miserable or relieved.

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**AN: **Please, don't hate me?


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